The other day I was asked a question regarding this guy asking this girl out. To clarify, this is a great guy, okay looking, really nerdy, very organized, with a good job. He has asked 13 girls out in the last two years with no success and the girl he was asking me about I personally don’t know. I know him from Valhallas Game center on 44th (a great place to meet guys, they’re nerds, but some are very good looking and most are awesome single men.), he’s a friend of both my man and I and we all play table top games together, it’s fun stuff.
Anyway, he asked me this knowing I tend to dabble in the ways of the single folk despite not being one myself. His questions was, “Kelly, I’ve been planning on asking this girl out and yesterday I found out she didn’t finish high school, should I still ask her out if we hit it off tomorrow? And would it be bad if after a date I decided not to see her anymore?” This honestly took me off guard. I personally have never really given that prospective singles issue no thought. I personally have a brilliant father who never finished, a best friend who never finished, and currently date a guy who dropped out of college. So education while I understand it’s importance has never crossed my mind as a potential deal breaker.
Well, considering these factors I told him he should try find out why. Weird but true some people really have good reasons for dropping out. I also told him that if he likes her it’s not something he should worry about. In regards to if he doesn’t want to continue, I told him that being clear with his intentions no matter what they are is necessary and that there is no reason to continue seeing someone if you don’t like them. There’s nothing wrong with saying, “I don’t think this is going to work out, I’ve had a good time, but I feel like it’s better not to continue.”
From my friend’s situation there is much that we can learn;
1) Education is important, and knowing how you feel is important, but giving people a chance to explain why they didn’t take the traditional route is only fair. No matter what little issue, some people are diamonds in the rough and just need someone who will listen and not judge. Had my mother not given my father a chance, I wouldn’t be here. She was valedictorian at Regis. And my father is her perfect equal.
2) It’s okay to go on one date to see how it feels. The first date, even the first two or three are the test drives. If you don’t like what you’re driving walk away. Be CLEAR. Don’t skirt around the topic, don’t try to be friends, just walk away. Cut the tumor clean off. Obviously being tactful and diplomatic is a good idea, but don’t let that cloud your clarity. We all need definition in our relationships especially, so don’t leave any doubt as to what you want from this new found relationship. (Also can go the other way, if you really like where things are going. Be clear you want something more.)
3) If you’ve been denied. Don’t give up, keep trying. This improves your odds. I’ll update whether he asked her out and what she said, also if the date went well and where things are going to go from here.
I hope his situation has given you all some idea of what your looking for in this area, and well as an open mind that even a high school drop out can be the best thing that ever happened to you.
He actually never met her that next day, she didn’t show. Despite this fizzle before the flame, the points above still ring true. His search for a love in this world is still continuing with not much luck.