All relationships have a natural progression. Each person will move down that progression at their own pace and many times adapt to each other’s speed naturally. When this becomes a relationship killer is when one pushes to hard for the next level of your relationship.
If you are “hanging out” but not dating. You may want to ease into the “Are we dating conversation until you spend more time together.” If you are spending all your time together but have not officially started dating perhaps you should have that conversation. But don’t push it. If you have only seen each other twice in three weeks you may need more time to get to know each other.
But moving too fast doesn’t just pertain to the beginning of a relationship. It is a balancing act no matter how long you are together. Balancing act because relationships are messy and there are two people in the relationship. Once you are dating it is important not to push “moving in together” or getting married to soon. There are countless studies show that show moving in together to soon can end up in divorce. Take your time, get to know each other, learn whether or not you and your partner are right for each other. Moving in together and getting married should be two of the most important decisions you make and should not be taken lightly.
Getting married is also something you shouldn’t rush. There are many reasons why people think rushing into marriage is important but when all is said and done this decision is even more important than moving in together. This decision should take time. You hear stories about runaway brides or grooms and many times they are running away because they are not ready to get married. Had they had time to make this decision they may have not run away and would have spent the rest of their lives with that partner.
There are people that do have problems committing. If you are in a relationship with one of these people and you believe they are that special someone you want to spend your life with you may want to consider looking into couple’s counseling. Inviting a third person to mediate your conversations can help people change behaviors. And if that special someone is open to couple’s counseling it says a lot in how much they feel for you.
The best advice here is to take the relationship at it’s natural pace. Don’t force issues that could cause you to kill the relationship at that moment or in the future. But also be mindful that your pace is important too and if your partner is not reciprocating you may want to look deeper into the reasons why. If you have any comments or would like to add something to this article please feel free to leave your mark at the bottom of this page. If you have any questions, concerns or would like to share a success story you can always email me.
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