This fruitcake is to die for.
It arrived in the mail from Who Women, Inc., a North Carolina bakery “founded in 2004 by women to help other women who find themselves in difficult situations.” Eating it, you find yourself in a difficult situation. The scale mounts, you want more, you calculate the calorie expenditure. The delectable item costs about $12 in cash. In calories, it’s 180 per serving, with the servings calculated at about 20. Do the math: that’s 3,600. I do the math, compulsively, even while eating. Would it taste better if the math wasn’t done while eating? Probably. The result of simultaneous eating and math-doing is likely that twice as much has to be eaten. If you don’t pay attention, after all, you miss the experience, the very experience you are so compulsively calculating your losses so as to enjoy. The moral of the story is to forget, but the perverse pleasure of this compulsive calculation itself will thereby be lost. We find ourselves in difficult situations, we women of the scale.
Doubt not: this article is indeed a review, and a positive one. If you need a last-minute present, this one will send your recipient into such a turbulence of eating and calculating, regretting and eating again that you, the giver, will not be forgotten throughout the year to come.
It’s called Berries Cherries N’ Nuts. The “N'” instead of “‘N” makes it no less delectable. It’s not, let’s be clear, one of those packed-tight raisin-y deathcakes that beg for the white (rum) frosting on top (which I also love). Instead, it’s a sweet-cherry, tart-cherry, blueberry and cranberry thing of pure nut-and-almond pleasure, both the kind of pleasure that makes you say yum and the kind that makes you say help! Watch the scale or don’t, you’ll still end up helpless with delight. Unless you’re a fool, you’ll die for this cake.