So you’re over forty single again. Hard times, right? Maybe not:
- You have full control of the remote.
- You can pick your nose at leisure.
- You can stop shaving your legs in the winter.
- You can grow a beard.
- You can dance around to Madonna or sing loudly with Bonnie Tyler.
- You only have to clean up after yourself.
- You can let your place go until mushrooms are growing in the carpet.
- You can dress your kids up in non-spouse approved Halloween costumes.
But seriously, being single again can be a time for reflection and self-improvement. Try meditation or simply sitting down and reflecting on recent events. A good way to learn from past relationships is to write about what happened and what you’re feeling now. Let it all out: the anger, the guilt, the self-recrimination, the way you don’t miss his refusal to take Bean-O when he really needed to or her throwing away your favorite T-shirts.
This is a valuable time when you can do some soul-searching and come up with a list of things you are going to start doing differently. Don’t just make a list of things you’ll be looking for in your next partner (besides good daily hygiene practices); think of a few behaviors of your own that could use some improvement. For example, do you really need to spend two hours a day watching “Celebrity Rehab,” “What Not to Wear,” and “Hoarders”? Or if your last three partners thought you were aloof and inaccessible, maybe it’s time to explore why that might be true.
So turn off that reality TV show and start writing or tapping away at the keyboard. It could be your first step to another and better relationship.