I’ve been reading your articles for awhile and I honestly don’t know how to do this- I always agree with a lot of your thoughts, so I thought I’d ask you.
My boyfriend is a great guy- really great. But it was only 3 months between his divorce and our first date and I don’t think he had enough time to grieve/ be angry about his family falling apart. His wife literally ran off with another man in the middle of the night with their 3 kids. It took him tons of money and time to find his kids again and start the divorce. His kids live with him full time now. Am I a rebound girl? Please be honest. I am really falling for him, but don’t want to invest any more time if I am nothing but a rebound. I don’t really feel like I am, I’ve never been given that indication, but I’m scared he’s not over his wife. He does talk about her, he says the relationship was over a long time before she left, but I can’t help but to think he’d be sad or angry about losing his family. Am I nuts to come into this so soon? He’s still in the middle of his divorce.
Rebound in Roseville?
First off, thanks for the vote of confidence! Always glad to hear from a reader. That being said, here’s a response, but please know I am not a licensed psycologist, therapist, or anyone truly licensed and/or qualified to give advice other than my own meanering experiences.
You didn’t mention how long you have been dating your boyfriend, but in any case, you are wise for wondering. In all actuality, he stated the marriage was over before she left. That might be your sign that the feelings were over, they had emotionally separated long before she ever moved out. Emotional separation is a killer for marriage. It can be saved, but in this case, it wasn’t. Instead, they went their separate ways. While the divorce is still pending, I would steer clear of getting too involved and too deep into this just yet. Keep your wits about you and don’t be blinded by love just yet. Divorce can bring out the worst in anyone, the emotional range can be harrowing and then the divorcees are left with having to pick up the pieces and starting over- no small feat for many. Keep yourself in check over the situation and mentally ask yourself if you want to continue this, or if it’s too much too soon for you. Nothing can kill a moment like the thought that pops into your head about the woman who was previously there in the not so distant past. If it’s not enough time separation for you, pull back and see where it goes. If, on the other hand, you find things a little intense or perhaps emotionally confused with your boyfriend, don’t be afraid to seek a counselor. Perhaps it might not seal your relationship with him, but counseling might open up the gates of emotion if that’s what’s needed.
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