Los Angeles is the city of dreams and within this seemingly, magical place, contains some of the best actors and actresses. So, how can you tell if your partner is the real deal or if he’s only playing a role in his own, live, reality show?
Whether you’re in a long term or short term relationship, there are some key behaviors and signals that indicate potential infidelity.
Signal 1: A change in responsiveness
Extremes in any situation, especially relationships, are never a good thing. If your significant other displays unusual detachment and or unusual affection, chances are there is more going on than meets the eye. With regards to infidelity, detachment stems from an inner guilt, conscious or not. Unusual affection, with regards to infidelity, stems from, not only guilt, but from the fear of getting caught. The individual overcompensates to cover his tracks. Surely he couldn’t be cheating if he is able to display his love in this manner (insert sarcastic tone here).
Signal 2: Secrecy
Secrecy in a relationship is a recipe for disaster! In order to foster a healthy relationship, trust is a must. If your partner begins password locking their phone and or computer, it may be time to start questioning the action and the motive. Private phone calls, messenger chats, text messages and the occasional shredding of credit card receipts are also a cause for concern. There is nothing justifiable about this type of behavior if it is, indeed, a loving union.
Signal 3: The Disappearing act
There is some truth to every stereotype. In movies, the long office day usually leads to long, passionate romps with the secretary or aid. I am not in any way saying that this is ALWAYS the case but if your, typically present partner, turns into a Houdini, pay attention. Initially it may start with behavioral distance, at times, short responses, emotional distance and then physical distance. They may go out for long periods of time with no ability or intention of accounting for their whereabouts. Other times, they may excuse this absence with predictable responses such as,
- “I’m working late.”
- “I’m in a meeting.”
- “I was stuck in traffic” (although in LA, it is quite feasible to be in traffic for hours at a time).
Trust your gut. “If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck…”
Signal 4: Exaggerated stories or lack thereof
There are a few key behaviors that an individual displays while lying.
- Exaggerated stories: Some fibbers will create an elaborate story as to their whereabouts with hopes that they will not get caught. “How could my partner possibly know I am lying with such a sensational story?” Sometimes, too much of a good thing, isn’t always…well, good. An individual who talks too much, falls within that category.
- Lack thereof: This behavior is the more obvious of the two and that is, the lack of an explanation.
The key here is to know the difference which brings us back to the issue of extremes. If the behavior is an extreme of the norm, there is, indeed, a reason behind it.
Signal 5: The shower
Everyone likes to be clean but if your partner begins hopping in the shower every time he enters the house, either he has an unusual and sudden case of OCD or he’s cleaning off more than a hard day’s work.
With all of this being said, there is a fine line between being cautious and being paranoid. Ladies, only you know your partners; you know their behaviors and their lifestyles. Use that womanly intuition to guide you through your suspicions and know that a toxic relationship creates a toxic life. Nurture and love yourself and know that you deserve only the best in life and relationships.