What do you do when you have a feeling that your spouse is cheating? You may have already checked their cell phone, email, face book page and asked them lots of questions. When you have a gut feeling that something is not right, it can undermine your marriage, if you do not address it.
You may find yourself doing things that are not “you”. Snooping, spying, prying, and checking. The trust in your relationship is already weakened.
If you have that “gut feeling”, you are picking up on “something”. It may not be an affair, but it could be that something is not “kosher”. If you talk with your spouse, don’t be surprised if they deny everything and try to turn the conversation back around to you. You may end up on the defense. Even when a spouse admits some indiscretion, you probably won’t get the whole story, at first.
Today, with the accessibility of the internet, many people are drawn into developing intimate emotional relationships on line. The other person may seem really understanding, validating, empathetic, and complementary. They may provide everything you have been longing for from your spouse. Caution! On line relationships are not built on real life. This is a Disney World effect. You get the fun, but not the day to day stresses.
Emotional affairs on line, keeping secrets from your spouse, an affair, and so on, are all ways you are exiting your relationship. Exiting your relationship indicates a problem in your marriage. You are exiting the relationship and finding temporary solace, instead of putting energy into resolving the problem in your marriage. This will not work over the long term.
Take action to address what is happening in your marriage. Start today and you may find that you can come through with a stronger, closer connection. It is possible with commitment and perseverance, to get through a breech of trust. Often it’s helpful to find a therapist to facilitate the communication and help you heal and problem solve.
In Palm Beach Gardens to find a therapist visit Good Therapy and put in your zip code to receive a listing of local therapist.
THE GOOD NEWS IS: Marriages can be saved when you trust your gut, stop exiting the relationship, and start to put your energy and attention on your marriage.
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Debra is a licensed psychotherapist with a private practice in North Palm BeachFlorida. To learn more about her services, visit her web site.
***© 2010 all rights reserved Debra Joy Goldman The above articles may not be rewritten, copied, published, broadcast, or redistributed, wholly or in any part, without the express written permission of Debra Joy Goldman