Jay (Ed O’Neill) and Phil (Ty Burrell) take Manny (Rico Rodriguez) and Luke (Nolan Gould) shopping for suits for their first school dance. Jay spends the day picking on Phil for not being manly enough to yell at the guys that stole their parking place and cut in line at the check-out. Phil runs off to get Luke socks when he’s sprayed right in the face by the Oasis for Men man. Phil loses it and chases the guy around, spraying him with cologne. Jay tells Phil that he’s tough on everyone because his own father was hard on him.
Meanwhile Claire (Julie Bowen) is upset with Gloria (Sofia Vergara) for stealing her thunder as co-chair of the school dance. Gloria confesses that she just wants the other mothers to like her. She knows what they think of her with her smoking body and tight dresses. [We should all be so cursed.]
At the playground, Lily is accused of biting another child. Cam (Eric Stonestreet) and Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) don’t buy it until Lily bites Cam in the car. Mitchell goes on a mommy forum but Cam thinks those methods (putting a pinch of pepper in her mouth or having a stranger yell at her). Turns out she’s just teething.
“You would not believe how some of these people dress their kids. Lily’s friend just pulled a Britney Spears getting out of a sandbox car.” — Mitchell
“Let’s go Incredible Hulk.” — Phil to Luke in his too small suit.
“We would be on her like white on rice. And I know that sounds like a racial slur because we’re white and she presumable likes rice but I didn’t intend it that way.” — Cam
“Being a man is about more than just shopping for fancy outfits.” — Phil
“At this rate, I’m going to miss the first dance…at my wedding!” — Manny waiting in line at the mall.
“She suggested an Arabian Nights theme. It’s it a little soon?” — Claire on Gloria’s “crazy” dance ideas.
“You know she didn’t fight in Vietnam, right?” –Mitchell to Cam after he expresses concern over her flashbacks.
“She bit me! Ow! She did it again! It’s like Twilight back here!” –Cam discovering that Lily does, in fact, bite.
Take a bite of apple, take a bite of a pear
Take a bite of the cookie that you left over there.
Here’s one thing you should never do:
Don’t bite Taylor, or Brandon, or Sue!
Because people aren’t rude; people aren’t food.
Your friends will run away if they’re scared of being chewed. — Cam’s anti-biting song for Lily.
Another funny episode.
What do you think, Durham?