… where the kisses are hers and hers and his, Three’s Company too. For any straight male, living with female roommates seems like the ideal situation (especially if they are hot). One female roommate is just a roommate, but two or more, and it’s a non-stop orgy with honey and Twister … at least that’s what guys think.
Here are three fantasies guys with female roommates have had at some point:
1) Walking in on your roomies in the middle of a naked tickle/pillow fight.
2) Being awaken by a frightened, scantily clad female roommate climbing into your bed during a thunderstorm.
3) Roommate walking in on you taking a shower and joining you.
On average, here’s how many of these fantasies come true: 0!
However, there are certain advantages to living with females. For one thing, women tend to be a little neater than men. If there is clutter or a dirty apartment, it’s only a matter of time until they get fed up and start cleaning. Of course, you don’t want her to think you’re a nasty slob, because then it screws up any chance you have of ever getting with her or her friends. Girls talk, and every dirty, nasty habit you have will be broadcast to her circle of friends.
Speaking of friends, women often have other female friends, some of them even attractive. And there is nothing better than a bunch of single girls getting together on a Friday night for “girls night in,” wearing their barely there teddies and boxers, curling up with each other on the couch watching movies and drinking wine. If you’re lucky enough they will invite you to join in their estrogen-laden ritual as the sole source of testosterone. Not a bad deal on your part.
But the best thing about having female roommates, if you all decide it’s “roomies night out,” you look like a stud walking into Blue Martini tailed by some hot tail.Women are usually more free and open around people they live with, so having a little booty-bumping session on the dance floor is highly possible. They view you as one of them, and you have the same rights and privileges including the female dance circle, the girlfriend high-five and “wooooo!,” the playful smack on the booty or simulated sex position while dancing, and last but not least, taking a couple drunk chicks home where who knows what could happen.
But those pros can prove to be a double-edge sword of cons.
Your roommates can put in a good word for you with their female friends, but at the same time the more they’re around the more they observe your behavior, especially how you treat women. If you’re a player or have player tendencies, they will keep their friends as far away from you as possible, and may even warn any new prospects you have over at the apartment. They’ll block your game tighter than rush-hour traffic on the Golden Glades Exchange.
Guys dream about hooking up with their female roommates’ girlfriends, well the same could go for her. Imagine coming home and seeing your best friend walking out of your roommate’s room wearing nothing but tube socks and a smile. How would you feel? Here’s the catch-22, you want to be mad at him for banging her, but you have no claim to her other than she pays half the rent and utilities. Now imagine your buddy over there night after night, sinking his “hole-in-one” like he’s going for the miniature golf title at Boomers. Talk about awkward. If things go wrong between the two you’re caught in a hairy situation.
But the biggest downfall to having female roommates — women get extremely comfortable at home, which is great if they are walking around in lingerie and high heels. But chances are they’re not. Most of the time it’s their favorite sweatpants or ratty pair of shorts and a “Camp Wakawiki” T-shirt they’ve had since four summers ago … and washed four summers ago. Their hair is a mess and they spray more poisonous gas than the Orkin man during palmetto bug season. The illusion is gone. The hot chick you met six months ago when you signed the lease basically looks like you with C-cups. And let’s not forget that time of the month. Things really go downhill then. If you live with more than one female, somehow Mother Nature devises a system where their biological clocks synchronize and instead of three separate monthly visits, you have a house full of bloated, whiny, bitchy, hungry, emotional creatures who blame you for everything, including the Sedano’s not having yucca mango-berry flavored yogurt in stock.
Bottom line, don’t expect too much when you live with female roommates. Stop watching the soft-core porn on Cinemax late at night because the geeky roommate turned house stud is 99.9 percent a myth. You would be better off living by yourself and ordering your porn from Netflix